Don't You Just LOVE DIY Blog Posts?

I sure do. That's why I could not wait to post one of my own. Think you've seen every crafty housewife's blog posts about painting and stenciling and setting tile? Well, this one is no different! You've seen it before, trust me, but somehow I wanted to document the process.

There is something about taking a month to redo a bathroom that makes you want to share every detail with the world, even with the knowledge that most don't care about your dumb project, lol. That said, I know I read many, many blog posts describing the process of doing the projects that I had in mind, since I had no clue what to expect, and in some cases, how to accomplish them. Every experience is slightly different, and everyone has a different opinion about what they like and how to achieve it.

So, here we go!

First, let's get a good idea of how the bathroom looked to start with. Note the discolored fiberglass one-piece insert - these have a gelcoat surface and over the years of people using abrasive cleaners it had areas that were permanently worn away on the bottom, and on the sides they were bleached and stained - no way to improve it. There were a few cracks on the edge of the tub, and the drywall at the top of the insert had begun to get wet and moldy - that had to be replaced, and was the thing that started this whole project.

Here we have a plain builder-grade mirror glued to the wall, and can/recessed lighting above. One we began working on to try and fix, but the wiring was shot.

 The vanity is a cabinet that is identical to all of the cabinets in the entire house, bathroom and kitchen - they are the same oak finish ones you can get at Lowe's even today. The first thing I did was to paint the whole thing white and add brushed nickel hardware. None of the doors/drawers had hardware, just a finger-hold at the bottom or side edge of it to open it. It helped the room quite a bit just making this one change.

We started by removing the tub/shower hardware and cutting out the top of the fiberglass insert, using a sawzall. This part was fun. Sharp eyes will detect the outline of a matching fiberglass insert on the other side of the wall studs - that is the identical unit in the master bath! (Guess what's getting ripped out next?  ;) )

Here's Busa, the German Shepherd Dog/ Great Dane mix, overseeing the project. He didn't give me permission to post his image, so I'm protecting his identity.

Because the fiberglass insert curved in at the faucet area, the plumbing had to be placed outside the stud wall area, and jutted into the tub alcove. Since we were putting in a standard tub we had to move the plumbing back in between the studs where it belongs. That's my closet beyond the studs - Rick had to rip out the drywall in there to access the plumbing. Charming little oversight when the house was built, no? However, it made things SO much easier to work on to have it all open and accessible. We have to replace that drywall and install a door for the future.

Plumbing rerouted and new drain assembly installed, since none of the plumbing matched up with the new tub.

New tub installed! This was not the easiest thing and required a lot of adjustments, but we got it in without damaging it, and applied mortar to the subfloor to hold it in place. This is not a fancy tub, fitting the standard 60" alcove, but it has an oval skirt to allow more room in the tub without requiring a larger footprint - a very nice feature!

Very heavy construction grade plastic was stapled to the joists and sealed to the top of the wall, and the edge of the tub with silicone. Then, cement board installed over that as the tile underlayment. It is very important to waterproof everything carefully. You think of tile as being waterproof but it isn't, nor is grout, even sealed grout, and eventually all the stuff under it will be exposed to moisture. We like cement board versus hardiboard because wet cement board does not change shape, while hardiboard swells and distorts. Just personal preference.

I finally chose and installed a new faucet after debating for days over which one to get. I love the design of this but the first one was defective. I returned it and opened the package first to be sure the replacement worked! It did. The opening to the cabinet is about 10" wide so I got bruises on my sides from lying under that sink 4 times (once to remove the old assembly, once to install the first faucet, once to remove the first faucet, and once to install the second. You do whatcha gotta do, right?

Here's the new tub protected with several layers of cardboard, using the cut-up box the tub came in. It is very important to protect the surface of the tub when tiling, since mortar and grout drop down as they are applied, and tiles and other tools get dropped frequently.

12x12 tiles going up! At $0.68 per piece we were pretty happy. They are a very light beige to match the solid surface countertop on the vanity, which I did NOT replace.

Liz's seemingly endless quest to find the "perfect" spa blue for the walls. None of these samples were it, lol.

Tile up and marble shelves installed as well. The tiles are ceramic, not stone, so I was searching for ceramic shelves, but the few available looked bad, since they are hollow molded and very bulky and rounded. I returned them and found marble quarter-round shelves that go with the tub and tile much better. Very simple and unobtrusive. Rick set them at the very slightest downward angle so water would not collect on them, but your shampoo bottle won't go sliding off. You can barely notice, but it is enough to prevent pooling of water, which is important. Grouting has begun!

Next comes replacing the flooring. Interestingly, we discovered why the baseboards in this room were only about 2" high. There was the existing sheet vinyl, luan sheeting, then ANOTHER layer of identical, pristine and perfectly preserved sheet vinyl (same pattern and everything) with another layer of luan beneath that, then the 3/4" plywood original subfloor. We have no idea why they'd install a floor then immediately install the identical floor, with the same vinyl material, right on top. The first layer was undamaged and looking like it looked back in the late 80s when it was put in. Weird.

A circular saw set at the proper depth and a heavy duty floor scraper had all of the old floor out, down to original subfloor. Then new luan sheeting was laid to act as new vinyl tile underlayment.

Waterproofing compound/primer painted on luan (it is dark green rubberized stuff, like contact cement but a lot thicker) and Liz begins her flooring project! These are adhesive tiles that are groutable. You need a good primer base and a very level surface for this type of tile, but it will be warm underfoot, not slippery when wet like ceramic can be, and is very easy to work with. That is a sunbeam on the floor - it looks strange in the pic.

I used spacers and then grouted, using premixed grout made for this purpose. I used a small space heater to warm up the room and allow the adhesive and grout to adhere better, since we were having a cold snap that day and the room was chilly.

I wanted beadboard wainscoting and I chose PVC boards, since this bathroom takes a moisture beating with two teenage daughters - lots of long, steamy showers. This stuff is great to work with and is glued up with Loctite or something similar, then we used a power brad gun to tack it in place here and there. It comes with matching baseboards and chair rail, all in bright white, though the material is paintable.

Here you can see how we used a conversion kit to replace the recessed lighting with pendants.

Here's how it looks today.  We still have to finish caulking and I need to find some art for the walls, but the real work is done. I even found the perfect shower curtain, which matches the blue I finally chose for the walls (Sherwin-Williams "raindrop," I love you).

We will caulk and clean up the edge between the tile and the windowsill, and around the tub and I will install nice switch plate covers. Also, we rebuilt the windowsill so it would not clash with the chair rail, and once I sand and put a coat of paint on that I'll install brushed nickel hooks for towels, instead of a towel bar. Interestingly, the girls seem completely incapable of figuring out how to use a towel bar, so maybe hooks will be easier. Must be a generational thing....

The only thing I have not addressed is the window. I was planning a 2" bamboo (white) venetian style blind, but the only ones I could find are 72" long, which is ridiculous for a window that is this small, and the entire window frame is very shallow, so you can't mount that type of bulky thing properly inside the window frame. Something needs to be mounted on the outside rather than the inside. I'm now leaning towards a Roman type shade, but still not sure. I'll shop for some appropriate understated artwork, and I may paint a stylized tree scene on one wall, with a dark brown branchy form, with white/cream/pale yellow leaves. I saw something like this for sale as a decal, but I thought I could paint it myself. Chocolate brown, beige, soft yellow and white towels will look nice. I have a large soft yellow bath mat. I'm also installing shelving above the toilet in the alcove, since I can mount a narrow 2x1" wood strip as a brace and use melamine white shelves for a simple look to store various products and towels.

A few things we learned:

Use good paint. It is worth the extra cost. For years I have always HATED household painting jobs, and have avoided it, thinking painting was just not my thing. I was having such a hard time finding the right color blue at Lowe's and Home Depot, and I found the color I thought would be perfect at Sherwin-Williams, through online searching. I wound up using Benjamin-Moore, because they have what Sherwin-Williams doesn't have - you can order paint samples online and pick them up in about an hour at your local store. This is awesome! I did this several times and it was very convenient. This made me have some degree of loyalty to Benjamin-Moore, and I will admit I had THEM make up the Sherwin-Williams color, Raindrop, which any paint store can do, no matter whose color it is. Therefore, since I was in there anyway, I bought the white semi-gloss paint that I used on the wood trim like the window, windowsill, door frame and door, as well as the white semi-gloss kitchen/bath paint for the ceiling.

Prior to even contemplating wall paint, I used some Behr white semi-gloss on the vanity, which took 3 or 4 coats to cover. Eventually it came out nice, but that was one reason I have hated painting: inadequate coverage and the need to go back over walls and trim with second and third coats to get the smooth finish you want. Brush and roller marks, cutting in and taping off areas, drips, splatters and unequal coverage were things I thought unavoidable.

With the Benjamin-Moore paint I could have gotten away with a SINGLE coat on the vanity - it is that much better. I couldn't believe it. The wall paint went up without any roller marks, even though I broke the rules and cut in a day or two before painting the rest of the wall (it is always better to cut in just the wall you're working on, paint the wall, then move on to the next wall, so the paint blends better). You cannot tell where I cut in - it looks smooth and perfect. I have had to do touchups after caulking, and you can't tell where the touchups were done - it blends seamlessly.

When I painted the ceiling I used the white bathroom/kitchen paint from Benjamin-Moore, to resist moisture problems, and I was not looking forward to that job. In the past, me and the entire room would be covered in splatters and drips of paint from doing the ceiling, and I dreaded it. Just the roller going across the ceiling would cast the tiniest drops in a mist throughout the room, landing on me and the floor. Can't avoid it, right? With quality paint I got ZERO drips, ZERO spatter, and I did the ceiling in one coat. There was no mist of paint droplets falling at any time. It took about 10 or 15 minutes, tops. I was amazed! I thought I was dreaming, but soon realized it was because of better paint. All that dread for nothing. Then I was ready to paint all the ceilings in the house (not).

Nothing against Lowe's or Home Depot (I spend A LOT of time there lately!), and they probably have some expensive, high-end paint available, but I'm sticking with the paint stores for paint in the future. It makes life so much easier, the job is done so much quicker, and for the most part I didn't even use painter's tape or prep of any kind (other than wiping down the wall first). I didn't tape around the window, and just painted it free-hand, and with a good brush and good paint, you can run a straight line of paint down the edge without it getting on the wall. How easy is that? Good Paint Makes Home Renovations Easy. This is my new motto, and was a hard lesson to learn. Over the years I've spent so much money on cheap paint, being horrified at the prices of the better brands, but I'm done with cheap paint. Forever. I'd rather put up with the dingy old wall until I can afford better paint and quality brushes. No foam brushes for this gal.

Didn't think anyone could go on this long about PAINT, did you?

Tile Needs Level Underlayment.   This goes for the peel-and-stick vinyl type or the ceramic/porcelain type. This is not something you should skip. Originally I was thinking I could simply stick the vinyl floor tiles right on top of the existing sheet vinyl, since it was ugly but in perfect condition, but once we saw all the layers that were already there, we wanted to get rid of them, and then the glue marks and staple/screw holes in the original subfloor were such that we just bought new boards to cover the whole floor, creating a very smooth and even surface. This matters a lot when you consider how long you expect your floor to last. You think at the time that it won't matter so much, but when the tiles start to peel up, crack or loosen you'll be pretty annoyed.

We suffered a bit of difficulty with the ceramic tile on the tub surround, even though we truly thought the cement board was smooth and even. Walls are never level, no matter how they appear. This translates very visibly to the tile. We were not as careful as we ought to have been about smoothing down the thinset used to tape over the seams between the cement boards. We ought to have really smoothed those down, because we didn't realize how the very slight variation there makes the tiles go wonky, and a wonky tile next to a level tile looks like crap. It took some work but we did get everything even, but next time I'll be more careful about getting the underlayment. It was after this experience that I started on the floor, and I knew better than to cut corners. Weeks down the road (even now) you forget the extra work you had to do, and are grateful you took the extra steps.

You Cannot Find Studs Through Cement Board. When we took down the old curtain rod we saw there were blocks placed between joists to support the rod, which was screwed through drywall, above the edge of the fiberglass insert. We made a mental note (hahahaha!) to mark the location of them so we would know where to install the new curtain rod, which would be directly on the tile since it was being placed all the way to the ceiling. We went on our merry way, and after the cement board was fully installed, seams taped and ready for tile, we realized we forgot to mark where the blocks were, or the joists. Now, you can measure where studs are, knowing how far apart they are, by starting at the corner of the wall and measuring in, but we were disappointed in ourselves for not planning ahead. We had never drilled holes into tile before and were very worried about cracking the tile drilling into it to put up the rod.

None of these things happened, and we wound up just eyeballing the placement of the rod. He asked me how high to place it ("oh, make it a little higher than the showerhead plumbing.") and how far away from the wall to place it ("oh, let's put it so it lines up with the edge of the tub.") When he drilled the holes, which took FOREVER using a masonry bit, lots of pressing down against resistance and dipping the drill bit in water to cool it down (sssssssssss) once he got through he came back with bits of wood on the tip of the drill. On both sides! Woo hoo! We didn't measure for studs or anything, but just got lucky. We were prepared, with very heavy-duty wall anchors, but we didn't need them. Whew!

When You Remove 1" of Flooring Your Toilet Plumbing Won't Match Up. This is somewhat minor but it is worth mentioning. We took out quite a bit of flooring and when we went to put the toilet back in, the plumbing to the wall didn't quite fit, with the pipe being too long. The whole toilet is now closer to the floor, so the small pipe had to be shortened. Not a huge deal but something to think about.

Also, the transition between new (lower) floor and the hallway carpet is slightly different, but we went ahead and used the same old transition strip from before, since carpet replacement is on our list in the near future.

I think that is about it! We are all delighted with how it came out, and are inspired to do more around the house, which suddenly looks extremely shabby. My own bathroom is now very difficult to look at, reminding me so much of how the hall bathroom used to look. No fair! The kids get the gorgeous bathroom and we get the crappy one. However, my husband and I have taken better care of our bathroom than the girls did in theirs, since over the years of them being toddlers and taking messy baths, being toddlers and a little destructive, and raising one teenager so far who was careless with her appliances and hair color, just to name a few things. The current pair of teenage girls have been warned about the dire consequences of carelessness in this bathroom, after all this work. It took us a month to complete, since we could not take much time off work, and had to use nights and weekends in between other obligations. The master bath renovation ought to go more quickly, since everything was installed at the same time as the hall bath, with the same materials, and now we know what to expect.

Comments are welcome!

Non-Driving Millennials: The Phenomenon Explained!

I am considered, I suppose, to be part of Generation X. I was born in the mid-60s. One of the most glaring differences in life for me growing up and life for my own children growing up has nothing to do with the obvious:  technology, fashion, environmentalism, etc.

The biggest difference is something with a massive and far-reaching impact on life:  FREEDOM.

When I was in kindergarten at age 5, I walked to school almost 2 miles by myself. When I was in second grade, I was responsible for the neighbor's kindergartener on the way to and from school, because I was seasoned and experienced, and could show him the ropes. "Don't worry, Helen, Elizabeth has been walking to school forever, and she'll look after little Ben."

My sisters and I had complete freedom to hop on our bikes and go wherever we wanted, practically as soon as we learned to ride. In the summertime, we left the house in the morning, returned for lunch and stayed out again until dinner, then back outside until the street lights came on. Anyone growing up during this time will recognize this lifestyle. Then, there were a handful of television channels, and the only programming of interest to children was very early weekday mornings (Sesame Street, Romper Room, Captain Kangaroo) and on Saturday mornings. There was nothing to compel children to sit around the house, so we were outside whenever possible.

When I was in high school I walked about 3 miles to school, and rode my bike to visit friends. Since the third grade I was part of infamous "busing" era in the 70s, when kids were transported out of their neighborhoods and sent to schools far away in an effort to mix up the population, ease overcrowding and supply students for schools with few local attendees. This means that by high school I had friends all over town.

I rode my bike in heavy traffic on a daily basis to get where I needed to go, and rode on major roads, went over bridges and traveled up to 8 miles from home, or sometimes more. I was not only visiting friends, but shopping at the mall and going to the library. Remember, my young readers, at that time in order to research a school assignment you had to have a relatively current set of encyclopedias (Google it) or hoof it to the library. My local library, at times, was inadequate to the task, and I rode downtown to the university library, which had everything I needed. My parents both worked so my siblings and I did not have transportation other than taking a bus, walking or riding a bike. Few of my friends did, either.

So, when that magical age of 15.5 came along I, and everyone I knew, was chomping at the bit to get their driver's license. My mother rode the bus to work so we had a second car sitting at home, waiting to be utilized by eager teenagers. Imagine: Not having to deal with the weather conditions, flat tires, inconsiderate drivers (no helmets for bikes back then, remember!), not to mention the length of time in transit, was sublime.

Once we learned to drive and had a car, our lives changed, and we felt like grownups. In addition, one major benefit to having such freedom around the city as a child meant that we already knew street names, we knew how to get where we needed to go, and we had an excellent sense of direction. Getting around in a car was a piece of cake, and everyone appreciated this milestone. We had jobs to pay for gas and such, and could actually get to work and back without getting sweaty or rained on. Bonus!

As an adult with a new baby, something came over my husband and I, and we were not alone. With the improved communication brought to bear by technology like cable TV and the burgeoning cell phone and internet phenomena, we realized that baby/child snatchers were literally lurking around every corner! News stories abounded, reporting on kids minding their own business and playing in their neighborhoods going missing, found dead, never found, or found but having suffered horrible traumas. What is this world coming to?

There is no way my precious bundle will be booted out the door to "go play." That's irresponsible parenting! We had to have eagle eyes and be ever vigilant. "Stranger Danger" was a new term for us to teach our children, and public safety campaigns were strong. Information on how to spot a suspicious person, how to recognize a creep in your own network of friends, neighbors and family, and how to protect your children was encountered in many aspects of public life.

Children had to be chaperoned everywhere, and "play dates" were invented. There was no such thing as a play date in my childhood; if you wanted to play with another child, you walked to their house and knocked on the door, and asked them to play. Simple. Suddenly, you have to coordinate with other mothers, scheduling appointments and being careful about the other children and their families; did the dad smoke? did the mom have tattoos? Is this a safe place for my child to go and will there be negative influences? This is the stuff that kept us up at night.

Any bike riding done in the 90's and 2000's was done en masse - if your child wanted to ride their bike then your butt was on a bike with them. Helmets, reflectors, lights, whistles and sirens were now required for two wheel travel. If they wanted to walk to their friend's house, you had to first call the mother and make sure it was okay, then walk them over there yourself, check in with the mother, and arrange for a pickup time. Keep in mind that the other mothers were suspicious too, so they were scrutinizing ME and my husband, wondering if we were up to no good behind closed doors.

Suddenly, mothers were concerned about how their children behaved when visiting their friend. My parents didn't concern themselves with such things - kids act up and are who they are, and they considered everything to be fine unless they heard something from another mother, which was rare. The upshot is that, as mothers, we instructed our children on how to behave, apologized for their behavior to the other parent, and required assurances that they did behave themselves when it came time to collect them. Everyone was being evaluated. Stranger Danger.

If the benefit of my childhood running all over town by myself was learning the streets and getting a sense of direction, one major negative impact of our new lifestyle was that kids never pay attention to where they are or where they're going. Today, they've got handheld devices to amuse themselves while riding in the car. They don't know what street they're on, don't know how to get to the cul-de-sac two blocks over, don't know how to get to school or to church, or to places they've been going their entire lives. They don't know cardinal directions as they apply to their neighborhoods or hometowns. Someone drives them, and they simply wait until the ride is over and they're compelled to get out of the car. It is like teleporting! Beam me up, Mama! I've got to go to Jimmy's house.

My own Millenial, born in 1993, suffers quite a bit from this phenomenon. She does not have her driver's license, though she has a learner's permit, and I have read articles recently that this is not unusual:  young people today are not learning to drive. I was astounded! How can this be? How could teenagers not want to drive? This is completely counterintuitive to me. It took me a while to realize the reason. Why should they drive? They've had someone chauffeuring them wherever they needed to go their entire lives. Someone in their circle of friends will drive and have their own car, so it is easy enough just to carpool. They don't feel comfortable tooling around town on their own - they've never looked through a windshield before. If it isn't in their lap they can't see it.

There is still something missing in this trend, if it is a trend, but I think the nidus is the lack of freedom our children and young adults have now. I am as guilty as anyone - I have shielded all my children in this way, and can't set my worries aside very easily. Since realizing what was going on with my oldest, I began quizzing my younger girls while driving, asking things like what street we're on, what road we just passed, in what direction are we headed, or what street to turn on to get to Grandma's house. I am urging them to familiarize themselves with their surroundings at all times, and pay attention. I don't know if it is helping, but it is at least something that might help them in the future. Since there's two of them, they go a lot of places together, so now they're permitted to walk to the library (together) and walk to the corner store (apart or together - it is very close). That is not to say I don't stand at the window and mark their progress, and watch the clock until they return, because I do. We know too much these days about all the wrongs in our society, since every incident is instantly available, anywhere in the world, via 24-hour cable news and internet.

Would you like to know something? There have always been creeps in our society. There have always been pedophiles, since humans created a society. We just didn't hear about it every second. We were living in the blissful ignorance of our pre-digital age. You want to know another thing? One day when walking home from second grade with Benjamin, a car pulled up alongside us, a convertible with the top down, and a man was fondling himself while he asked us directions to the nearby hospital. I did not understand at all what he was doing, and had never seen a man's private parts before, but it was supremely alarming to me, so I took Benjamin's hand and took off running. I was the older and responsible one, after all. I consider us lucky, even though the guy may have never intended to apprehend us in any way, but you never know.

Today, that incident would have gotten on the news, right after the story about Child Protective Services being called regarding the 5 and 7-year-old walking by themselves down the street. That is, apparently, child neglect.

I look back and have to wonder:  How DID we survive?

This is What I Get for Going to the Doctor - Part Two

One of the yearly joys for most women, me included, is the annual mammogram. My mother had breast cancer requiring a radical mastectomy with axillary node dissection at age 40, premenopausal, which means her own daughters are at a higher risk of breast cancer, and I don't take this lightly, so every winter off I go to submit to a boob squashing, with a light dose of radiation. All for a good cause, and that noble feeling you get afterwards, right?

Last year, my mammogram showed something suspicious on the left, and I wound up needing a biopsy. This was a benign lesion, thankfully. When I returned this year they kept calling me back for more views, and finally when I was done the radiologist sat me down and explained that I have "very dense" breasts, and though there was nothing suspicious on my mammogram it was recommended that I have breast MRI to get a better look. He said that mammography alone was not the best way to evaluate someone like me, with a family history, a history of a biopsy myself, and dense breasts. These three factors, combined with my age at onset of menarche (12), put me in a high-risk category for breast cancer in my lifetime.

When did I get dense breasts? This was news to me. The mammograms I've been getting for the past 15 or more years have not demonstrated dense breasts, to my knowledge, since I've never had to have ultrasound, and that is what they use on dense breasts, as I know from 10 years working for a mammographer and typing all of his reports. These days it is required that the patient be informed if they have dense breasts, and I had not heard this before. Can breasts become dense as we age? I suppose they can, since that's certainly my category now. 

I was told this was not an "open MRI," so I asked for a Xanax or something like that to take in case of claustrophobia. I had an MRI over 20 years ago, and when I was asked if I was claustrophobic I proudly assured them I wasn't. Well, after being laid on a table and slid back about 12' into a pitch dark and narrow drawer, I discovered that indeed I WAS claustrophobic. That was a challenge to endure, and I didn't want to go through that again. However, my breast MRI was on a modern machine and if that isn't considered "open" I'm not sure what open means. I could see the opening in front of me, and it was open behind my shoulders, it was well lit, with a large aperture and a fan blowing, and there was no need for any anti-anxiety medication whatsoever, thankfully. 

The MRI went smoothly, and was not a difficult experience at all. The bonus is that there is no radiation, and in the future I will have MRI studies annually and I (think) I get to skip the squishing procedure of standard mammography. 

As I had been warned, the MRI prompted the recommendation for breast biopsies. I was prepared for this, and was not too concerned. After all, they can now see literally everything in my breasts and since it was the first look, many structures could appear suspicious. I had an area on the right and an area on the left, one 8 mm and the other 5 mm in size. This time I DID opt to take the Xanax, since I had been through a breast biopsy before, which was somewhat traumatic due to the awkward location and the need to be clamped into the vise of the mammogram machine while the biopsy was performed. It was on the left medial breast, very close to the chest wall, meaning they had to clamp me down very tightly, drawing the skin of the chest in and making it difficult to breathe, but the machine had to hold me there for a few minutes while the biopsy itself was completed. They had to try it a few times, then re-try it, get the biopsy, then take a few more views to be sure it was in the right location. Ugh. I fell apart a bit after that one!

This time I would not be in The Vise but it would be done under MRI guidance, which I knew was no big deal, and it wasn't. I still elected to take the sedative, since I could not help but have a lot of anxiety, being in the same situation as my last breast biopsy - I knew it wouldn't be the same but I seemed unable to convince my reptilian brain of that. In fact, my blood pressure was through the roof when I got in there, which is not normal for me, and I had to lie down for about 10 minutes in a dark and quiet room before it went back down to normal. Yikes. 

They were able to get the right breast biposied without difficulty for them or for me, and they told me the one on the left was not very accessible for an MRI-guided biopsy, since it was located near the previous biopsy, close to the chest and on the medial breast (near the cleavage), not a good position for the doctor to access while I'm lying face down. That would have to be done with mammographic guidance (here we go again!!) but he told me that he'd prefer to wait and see the results of the biopsy on the right, and make a decision after that, which suited me. Apparently the two lesions were similar and if the right side was benign, the left would likely be as well. 

Long story short (well, short story that I manage to make long) is that the biopsy was benign, and I return in 6 months for repeat MRI to see if there is any change in the lesion on the left. Cancer does not stay the same, so if it looks identical then they'll know it is benign, and can simply look for changes, since they'll know from now on what I'm supposed to look like in there. 

It seems like a lot of hassle, expense and aggravation for nothing, but I really can't say that I'm sorry I did it. I could have refused and simply had yearly mammograms, since the MRI was not being done to evaluate any particular lesion, but just to get a better look. However, I thought it was more responsible to go ahead and be sure things are okay, despite the unnecessary stress. Even when you are relatively certain the biopsy will be benign, there is a voice in the back of your mind that worries about other outcomes. 

Also, breast biopsies are painful afterwards, and I had to wear an ice pack in my bra the rest of the day and most of the next. Add to that, our dear young dog, Busa, a Great Dane and German shepherd mix, is so tall that he greets me by goosing me in the right side of my boob when he sees me - right in the ole biopsy site! Thanks, buddy. Your heart is in the right place....

This is What I Get for Going to the Doctor. Part One

So, like the good, responsible and conscientious mother I am, I carry myself off to the eye doc, the mammogram clinic, dentist, and others on a regular basis to screen for issues, keep my vision sharp (especially the eyes in the BACK of my head, installed in the delivery room with my first child...), etc. I want to set a good example for preventative care for my girls. 

Last year, the eye doc informed me that I have cataracts. Yes, at age 46 the lenses of my eyes were beginning to cloud over. This explained the very early signs of, dare I admit, poor vision at night, and a somewhat frustrating lack of sharp focus with very expensive and carefully crafted eyeglass lenses. He did not make a whole lot of it, indicating that the cataracts need not be addressed until the following year, and that this is something that is seen in people who have had nearsightedness from a young age, progressing to a somewhat extreme prescription. My eyes are  -7.00 to -8.00 or so. Many people have worse vision than that but for me, this prescription means without vision correction I cannot really function in the world. I can't recognize faces, read anything that is not about 5" from my face, see where I'm walking, etc. Everything is blurred and muddled together, like looking through a screen of Vaseline. 

He went on to say that since my eyes have been struggling to focus for most of my life, people like me tend to get cataracts and other signs of aging eyes earlier than others, and my situation is not rare. He said everything else looked good and to return in a year, though I did need new glasses, since my prescription had changed slightly and I would benefit from trifocals. I found some trendy frames, which these days consist of LARGE heavy BLACK plastic frames that are everywhere, the nerdy, geeky style being so hip. I am certain that in the future anyone will be able to identify this decade by these nerdy styles - everyone wears them, from youngsters to grandmothers. I got "progressive" lenses so you can't see the lines between each section of the lens.

(Aside:  I recall back in the mid 1990s I found some frames that were ridiculously SMALL and oval, and I just adored them. They had a Ben Franklin type appeal to me in shape, though they were green plastic. I got quite a few odd looks, and it took a while to get used to them since the area I looked through was relatively small  -willing to sacrifice peripheral vision for fashion, I am - Next thing you know, small frames were all the rage, and that carried through to about 5 years ago.) 

Well, I returned today, a year later, and he said it was about time to remove these pesky cataracts, which is exciting to me because that means replacing the lens, and they put in an artificial lens that corrects your vision, so you don't need glasses after surgery, other than reading glasses. This notion is almost impossible to imagine. Unless I sleep in contact lenses when I awaken every morning I am blind as can be, and sometimes I tease myself with the horror of some sort of middle of the night emergency that will require me rushing from the house without glasses, and being completely dependent upon others to lead me around until replacements could be made. Waking up, taking a shower, swimming, water sports, etc. without needing glasses is a miraculous notion, especially since in the recent past my eyes have been too dry to tolerate contacts.

The doctor then got serious, which is not his usual manner, and he said that I have some issues that make cataract surgery a much higher risk. There is something going on with my retina on the left, and I have bilateral calcifications and other bumps in the road of the macula. The right eye macula looks okay but the left was thinned and had irregular areas, and apparently I am at risk of a detached retina. Neato! 

He instructed me to avoid any activity that might cause a bump to the head (!), and if I get into a car accident he wanted me to come see him promptly to be evaluated. In general, I tend to avoid striking my head, but he ran through a list of activities that I ought to skip, including roller coaster rides, ziplining, bungee jumping, hang gliding, contact sports, etc. With the exception of bungee jumping and hang gliding, and maybe contact sports, this will put a damper on my preferred activities! No more roller coaster rides? DEW WHUT? 

As for surgery, there are some very real risks of loss of vision from cataract surgery that are not present for most people who get cataract surgery, like the elderly. He said I need to weigh the risks versus the benefits, and make a decision that way, and if I decide to have cataract surgery I would need to sign a consent, indicating I understood the risks. Yikes, doc, this sounds serious. He said I may prefer to simply not drive at night and go on like I have been. He also said I may be compelled to proceed so I would not need glasses anymore, and take the risk of something bad happening to my vision, which "might happen anyway." *Sigh*

Ok, I need to think on these things a bit. All of the sudden I went from a simple nearsighted woman to someone on the brink of blindness? Huh? When did this happen? I am somewhat inclined to put off any cataract surgery at this point, and I will probably seek a second opinion. Once, that is, my wildly dilated pupils no longer make me look like those kids in Children of the Corn. 

Protein is the New Black

We've all heard that protein is good. Protein will make you lose weight, it will help you build muscle, it will keep you from being hungry, and has apparently other magical qualities as well. Properly trained, it could likely do my taxes and cure cancer. Vegetarians and vegans scoff at these claims, and meat-lovers embrace them.

Every label at the store wants to claim some sort of protein content, since all of us are keeping an eye out for high gram counts of the nutrient. I remember when low fat and sugar-free were what we were looking for at the grocery store, but now those nutritional values mean nothing. You can have all the fat you want as long as there is a ton of protein! Yay! High fructose corn syrup? Bring it! I think that stuff was off limits for about 10 minutes, nowhere near the legendary run of "low fat," but maybe next time. Sugar is, once it gets in your stomach, sugar.

I cannot forget carbs, and who could? Unlike protein, apparently this stuff collects your taxes and causes cancer. Many may even be unaware that "carbs" stands for carbohydrates, so intimately close are we to the evil stuff that we stick to first names only. Keeping carbs out of your diet is a full time job for many modern folks, so sure are we that it is responsible for everything going wrong in our lives.

How do these dietary trends get going? Eat eggs! Don't eat eggs! Caffeine is bad! Caffeine is heart healthy! Wine is for drunks and losers! Wine is good for longevity! Don't even get me started on chocolate.

I have alternatively embraced and rejected the protein/carbohydrate game. For a while I cut carbs almost completely out of my diet, focusing on protein, though not a single pound was lost after 3 months. Gave that up and concentrated on lowering my caloric intake and making sure I worked out every day. That seems to suit my lifestyle very well, but, again, not a budge in my weight. No junk food, no fast food, no sweets, those things are easy for me because I don't crave them, and I don't overeat, so occasional lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and lots of veggies, along with some pasta and rice and 1200-grain breads seemed like a healthy way to eat, right? Well, maybe, but I'm still 50 pounds overweight. Hmm. Nothing is easy for this gal.

I know people who have atrocious (to me) diets, filled with processed foods and fast foods, yet they remain slim. I know other people who didn't change their diets at all but started walking for 30 minutes 5 days a week and dropped 40 pounds. I've been huffing and puffing 4 miles away in just under an hour for 10 years, 5-6 days a week, and still managed to gain weight. No fair.

I am so tired of looking at labels and counting grams of this and that, but apparently that is what I need to continue doing. I saw an endocrinologist who specializes in metabolism and weight loss, and he explained that, unfortunately, with my body type I have a metabolism that is too efficient, and will only slow down as I approach menopause. He told me the story of a patient of his (I guess I believe him?) who had surgery done on an ulcer in her stomach years ago, which apparently involved cutting a nerve that signals hunger. Thereafter she has no sensation of hunger or satiation, ever. She skipped breakfast and lunch and ate dinner with her family because it is a social activity and she knew she had to eat sometime, though she never felt hungry and didn't really enjoy the taste of food. She weighed 440 pounds. Huh? (Do I still believe him?)

He said that in certain individuals, females in middle age most commonly, the metabolism slows to a crawl and exercise is not going to change it. In ancient times this would serve you well, as your ability to hunt and gather was reduced, and in lean times you could live off fat stores and require less nutrition. These days not so much. The lady in question had lost 100 pounds simply by eating protein three times a day, according to the doctor. This case report was, of course, meant to inspire me but I'm having trouble with it. I'm sure she has a bizarre physiology responsible for this kind of crazy weight gain with so few calories. I had always thought that obese people needed way more calories to keep going every day than the healthy weight person. Go figure....

The doctor looked at my food journal and liked the fact that I don't overeat and I don't eat junk or fast food, but he said I was not getting enough protein. Curses! My nemesis rears its ugly head once again! He said I need at least 30 grams of protein 3 times a day. Yuk. Some mornings I can eat an egg or two, but that is not getting anywhere near into 30 gram territory, and many mornings the thought of eggs or meat makes my stomach churn. My typical breakfast would be the aforementioned 1200-grain bread (if you can point me in the direction of bread that has more grains than 1200 I'd appreciate it) with natural peanut butter on it for my stoopid protein. So noble felt I! A wholesome breakfast with a ton of fiber and no sugar. Wrong - I'd have to eat a whole jar of said peanut butter to get the protein I'm apparently lacking.

People have said to me, "Liz, you're not eating enough and that's why you're overweight." This is what my doc is telling me, except I'm not eating enough PROTEIN. So, that's why anorexics are so fat? That's why models are thin - they're eating gobs of protein 3 times a day? I think not! Don't eat and you won't be fat. This concept of eating more to boost your metabolism is counter intuitive, but my healthy diet and exercise program I've been on isn't helping, either.

So, I'll give it a try. I can drink a protein shake in the morning (much easier to stomach) and use protein bars and powders to up the numbers. I'll continue my walking/jogging routine. I think it boils down to body types and genetic predisposition. There are skinny people who will be skinny no matter what they do, and chubby folks who stress and obsess and restrict themselves with no results. I was never heavy in my life until I hit 40, so the weight gain has been hard to take, but I can see that my body is slowing down and that will only get worse, so I need to try something else. We shall see.

Protein is, apparently, the answer, for now, and I guess I'll quit fighting it. If I get results then I'll be convinced, of course, but by then scientists will publish papers telling us that high protein diets shorten our lifespans, and magnesium deficiency is killing our country. The Cheese Diet will be all the rage, and protein will go the way of 8-track tapes. If you don't know what 8-track tapes are, you'll have to read my blog from 1978. Wait. I think they were called "articles" back then......

Kids and Dogs. What was it W.C. Fields said?

Never work with them, I think it was. There is some debate as to whether he actually said that, but for me, kids and dogs are ALL I seem to work with. They do tend to upstage me, as well, but that's not a problem, usually!

Back to school time and things are going pretty smoothly. This year the twins have quite a few of the same classes, and even a couple of the same teachers. Next semester they will also have one class together, which will be the first time since preschool. Our county school system typically separates twins, and care has always been taken in this regard, but I think at this point there is no deleterious effect to them being together in a class or two, and it can really help. Yesterday they were able to study for a geography quiz together and I think they actually enjoyed it. Each has her own way of learning, and her own strengths, so one can benefit from the other.

They're also much better this year about getting themselves up and ready for school without a lot of prompting and yelling (on my part), which seemed to be the norm last year. They're getting more responsible and taking care of things themselves more effectively.

They're also starting to "turn," as I like to call it, like that banana on the counter that one minute is perfect, smooth yellow, sweet and slightly firm, and the next time you glance over at it there are brown bruises and it has begun the process of turning to mush. These girls aren't turning to mush, but I will be once they fully transform into teenagers. For the most part they are what I would consider a bit behind their peers, since most of the other 7th graders have already transformed into the eye rolling, demanding, disgruntled and entitled charmers that we know and love anyway. Mine still have that sweet, innocent and optimistic attitude, most of the time, that is the hallmark of the young child, delighting in simple fun and still thinking their parents are awesome. Occasionally, however, the Mask of the Teen drops upon their countenances and they act like spoiled and resentful brats. I don't hesitate to point it out, which may or may not be the best way to handle it, but it is inevitable and we'll just have to roll with it. A couple of trips to the soup kitchen or free clinic ought to reset their compasses a bit when necessary. They really need to appreciate all the wonderful opportunities and advantages they have in life.

They're changing physically quite a bit as well, and I'm sure this is bringing its own issues to their not fully mature personalities. This is an important time in a girl's life and can really have an impact on how they will be as adults, I believe.

The dogs are, well, very prominent members of our household, and much of our lives revolve around these beasts. Sirius is, unfortunately, kept on the back screen porch during the day while we're at work, with a large bucket of water and a comfy bed, as well as a fan on warm days. The porch has a doggy door so he can come and go as he pleases, since he is not reliable when it comes to his bowels these days. He tends to avoid moving his bowels, and when he has to go he has to GO and often won't even make it all the way outside if he's in the house. This is not a problem when we're home, since we're all cognizant of this and run him outside frequently, but overnight and during the day we don't have this ability. At night we leave the sliding glass door open for him to go out when he needs to, and we've resigned ourselves to purchasing a sliding glass door insert that has a doggy door built in. As the weather gets colder we won't be able to leave a door open for him, so this is going to have to be the solution. It will be convenient for the dogs to be able to come and go as they please as well.

Busa is a very "different" dog for us. He is easy to take care of, obedient and happy go lucky, and though he has been known to bring you a sock, not chewed but a little damp, he doesn't get into mischief. He is like a shadow, and for his size that can be a problem, since he wants to accompany me into the powder room off the kitchen, which is impossible, though he doesn't think so. He has learned not to bust past me on the stairs, which could be a hazard for sure, but when I'm in my office chair I have to be careful when I turn around to leave, because he'll be right there under my feet. He is quite LONG and narrow, but he has put on weight, finally, and is filling out nicely. I'm sure he's pushing 100 pounds now, as compared to the rail thin 82 or 84 pounds he was when we got him. At 31.5" at the shoulder you can imagine how lanky this dog is.

We brought him to Mobjack Bay a couple of weeks ago to see how he'd do in the water, and he went right in, without hesitating. He wanted to leap around rather than swim, but the girls walked him out to deeper water (it was low tide) to see if he would swim. He did, but he's not very good at it and tires easily. I think his legs are so skinny and long that he doesn't have a lot of power to move through the water, but I think he can be conditioned to do it. I was impressed at how comfortable he was, like he'd been swimming in the bay all his life. He's definitely building confidence.

He was off lead the whole day and that was no problem since he is unwilling to have you out of his sight, and if he gets distracted by something all you have to do is call his name and he is tearing back to you at full speed. Recall is not a problem with this dog. We wandered over to my cousins' cottage, just a few properties down the shore from ours, and Busa came with me, off lead. There was quite a welcoming committee. A total of 9 dogs were all upon him immediately, barking, snarling, growling, hackles, sniffing, yelping, etc. Several of the dogs were not happy at all that he had arrived, but he did not react at all to such a large pack. He just waited for them to be done checking him out, and it didn't take long for them to settle down, and thereafter he just poked around the yard and seemed quite relaxed.

Many of my cousins were there, and some of their children as well, along with their children's friends, so there were quite a few people standing around as well, and he had no problems. Don't forget, he has some problems meeting new people and can growl and give hackles to people he has not met before. This is how he behaves out in public quite often, so people cannot come up and pet him, typically. He is very striking in appearance and he attracts a lot of attention, but we always ask people not to approach him until he is less nervous. So, I was impressed with how he did not react at all to my family. This gave me a false sense of security for sure! I think, like with the dogs, there were simply too many new people all standing around for him to get nervous about any one person, and he was, as they describe it in dog training, "flooded" with the stimuli and therefore unable to react negatively.

The next day R and I took him to Crump Park, which has a huge open field in the center, football field in size, which is just short grass, and we thought we'd play fetch with him there. We have a tennis ball chucker device that can really send a ball a long way, and this dog loves to fetch, and loves to run, so what could be better? There was no one there at all except one man with his very young son of about 5 or 6, packing up after apparently shooting off model rockets. Busa was chasing the ball as the pair were walking away, and he suddenly rushed over to them, full hackles and barking his head off aggressively at them, charging them. Yikes! We reacted very strongly to this behavior and let him know that this was NOT COOL, and we left - game over. Wah.

I can't explain why he reacted to them that way, but obviously we have some work to do on this. Fear aggression? Protectiveness? Territorial? I can't really say that any one of those things would explain this particular incident, since the pair were walking away and were about as threatening as a loaf of bread, and were not behaving in a challenging way - they were not even paying any attention to us. We had just arrived at this park, Busa's first visit there, so he could not have felt territorial. I think Cesar Millan said something once about a dog not giving "permission" for the person to leave the area, and that is the cause of this type of reaction in some cases, but that seems strange and I don't really buy into that - it doesn't make sense to me, but I'm not a dog.

We have him signed up to start basic obedience classes this Friday, since we've been waiting for the next round of classes to start up. I'm worried he's going to growl and snarl at the trainer or at other dog owners, and we'll be thrown out of class, but I guess that's why we're bringing him. We have attended many, many of these classes with the various dogs we've had, bringing them through the puppy classes, basic obedience and then Canine Good Citizen in Major's case, so we know the drill, know the commands, know the procedures. However, this is the first (nearly) adult dog I've brought to class and one with some issues. He has never literally attacked anyone physically or bitten, but he sends the signals and I'm not comfortable with that. We know how to train a dog but he needs to attend these classes and work on skills that will help build his confidence.

He is a large and imposing looking dog and I want him to be able to be out in public without reacting to anyone. I don't need him to be everyone's best friend, and in fact I like that he's cautious when meting new people, since some people do not have good intentions and they will not be able to get past him if it comes to that. I'm fine explaining to people that they cannot simply walk up to my dog, a dog they've never met, and pet him right off the bat, but I expect him not to growl and put up his hackles at everyone.

I have consulted with experienced Great Dane and German Shepherd Dog owners who say that he may never get over this particular issue completely, most never do, apparently, but that I ought to be able to work with him and improve things. I can say that he has improved a lot since we first got him, when he was terrified at every new experience and every new place we went. I think if we'd have tried going to the Bay then things would not have gone nearly as well, and he may have been permanently averse to going there because of it.

He is a different dog for our family but everyone just adores him. Fortunately, Sirius seems to get along well with him also, but Busa is trying to assert himself more with Sirius these days, whether because he senses Sirius' illness or because he is a pushy teenage dog who wants to try his hand at being the boss dog. We're giving Sirius extra attention, and he gets to come up on the sofa from time to time, where Busa does not. He's still the old man of the house and though we do have to exclude him at night he still holds a higher rank.

Here's a gif of Busa and his buddy, Casey the beagle mix at Mobjack Bay.

I Should Have Called It The Dog Blog

Here I am again, blogging about the dogs. They seem to occupy much of my family's time and energy, and they get a lot of attention. 

We've got the two big dogs (well, they don't seem that big to us but that's what people say...), Sirius and Busa. 

To review, Sirius is a 6.5-year-old Great Dane and Rottweiler mix, half and half, who has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer, and is really slowing down these days. He had the cancer resected but it is not eliminated and we're just going to keep him comfortable until that is no longer possible. Currently he seems to have some discomfort in the region of his hind end, and this causes some degree of incontinence, so we have to take him out every few hours. He moves his bowels okay and does not have diarrhea or constipation, but he definitely waits as long as possible before going out to do his business. He urinates quite a bit, though. 

We had a complete workup for frequent urination that came back negative, as described in previous posts, and we finally discovered a pattern once his rectal tumor was discovered, since it blocked his anal glands and caused infection there. When he was inflamed in that region he could not hold his urine, and when he was not inflamed he could hold it all day. 

He had surgery to remove the tumor and he did pretty well for a while, but now he's back to his old pattern of needing to go outside about every 3 hours, day and night. This is, of course, not fun for me because I have to get up in the night with him to run him outside, but you do what you have to do, right? He will not cry out or bark to be let out, but will simply go wherever he is. Sigh. 

Busa is our Great Dane and German Shepherd Dog mix, also half and half, and he's shaping up nicely. We've had him a month and we're delighted to discover that he's a very sharp and attentive pup at 9 months of age. It is not to say that our previous dogs were not smart, but he is the first dog we've had that really wanted to please us. He's like a shadow, and is always staring into your eyes, waiting for instruction. He does not have to be shown something more than once or twice before he has learned the skill, so you have to be careful to be consistent and not send him the wrong cues accidentally - he's always paying attention. This is the GSD in him, I think! Our bullmastiffs would learn things and were well trained, but they'd just rather be sleeping. Busa never seems to sleep. If he's not in his crate he's pacing around the house, looking for someone to play with him. He has yet to get into any mischief so far, other than stealing one of the girls little footie socks, but otherwise no adventures with the kitchen trash or destruction of anything we didn't mean for him to have. Wait, I take that back - he got a Chapstick once about a week after we'd had him and the girls had not been paying attention. He chewed the top off.

We have been working on his fear aggression, and I have to say we've made quite a bit of progress. We backed off on the socialization over the past two weeks or so, to give him a chance to gain confidence at home and learn to trust us more, and this has apparently served him well. We took him out this weekend and he did much better than in the past, without becoming alarmed at people approaching us, and even tolerating a trip to an outdoor street festival, with crowds, loud music and other dogs. He was not overly friendly, but he did not get his hackles up or growl, except in one case when he was mobbed suddenly. I don't really blame him for that. We are learning his cues and blocking unwanted attention, which builds his trust in us, and this will lead to more confidence in himself. 

We were going to my sister's house for dinner, and since we frequently spend time at each other's houses I brought Busa along. She lives a half-mile away, so I often ride my bike to her house, and decided, on a whim, to ride over with Busa on lead. Many dogs are afraid of bikes and I had no idea if he'd been exposed to them or not, but I decided to try. I pulled my bike out, got on, and with him on lead started riding. He trotted along beside me the whole way without a second thought, like he'd been doing it his whole life. Whew! 

I had an incident with Sirius on my bike a few years ago, where he saw a cat or something and decided to chase it, while I'm riding down the road holding his leash. Unfortunately, the object of his attention was on the right side of the road, and I ride with the dog on the left. He took a direct route in front of my rolling bike, and we both went down, tangled up. I wasn't hurt, but that was a miracle, considering he's pushing 130 pounds. I have seen no prey drive issues with Busa so far, in that on walks and out in public he seems to be able to ignore dogs that bark at him, as well as cats that he sees, so hopefully we won't have any accidents like the one with Sirius. 

We noticed that while he trots he has a "sidewinder" gait, or a crabbing sort of body orientation. He moves straight ahead, but his hind end is at an oblique angle to his shoulders, so his left rear foot lines up with his right front foot. It is odd to see from behind. Apparently dogs who are at a gangly stage, and he is definitely the very epitome of gangly, can get this kind of gait due to their hind end being a bit higher than their shoulders, so their front and rear legs are not moving together well, or their hind legs may even hit their front legs as they move, causing them to shift sideways a bit. He may grow out of it, and I hope this is not an indication of a physical defect like hip dysplasia. I'll bring it up at his next vet visit. 

We will get Busa in to a basic obedience class in a couple of weeks, which will be good for him. At first I wanted to get him going in classes immediately, but the local classes had already started and we missed the boat with the trainers we trust. Now I'm glad that we had a delay, because it has given him a chance to get to know us and get comfortable with our leadership, and gain confidence in general. I think he'll be less nervous, which will translate to more effective lessons and more valuable socialization time. We have been to so many obedience classes that we know the drill already, and have taught him quite a few basic commands and behaviors, but it is good for the dog and for us to go through these group lessons. I hope to get him his CGC, or Canine Good Citizen certification once we work with him a bit more. 

Oh, and yes, I DO have children and I DO adore them and marvel at their every move, but I prefer to let them have their privacy when I can, and don't want to blog about every adorable thing they do. They'll really appreciate this later....