I am considered, I suppose, to be part of Generation X. I was born in the mid-60s. One of the most glaring differences in life for me growing up and life for my own children growing up has nothing to do with the obvious: technology, fashion, environmentalism, etc.
The biggest difference is something with a massive and far-reaching impact on life: FREEDOM.
When I was in kindergarten at age 5, I walked to school almost 2 miles by myself. When I was in second grade, I was responsible for the neighbor's kindergartener on the way to and from school, because I was seasoned and experienced, and could show him the ropes. "Don't worry, Helen, Elizabeth has been walking to school forever, and she'll look after little Ben."
My sisters and I had complete freedom to hop on our bikes and go wherever we wanted, practically as soon as we learned to ride. In the summertime, we left the house in the morning, returned for lunch and stayed out again until dinner, then back outside until the street lights came on. Anyone growing up during this time will recognize this lifestyle. Then, there were a handful of television channels, and the only programming of interest to children was very early weekday mornings (Sesame Street, Romper Room, Captain Kangaroo) and on Saturday mornings. There was nothing to compel children to sit around the house, so we were outside whenever possible.
When I was in high school I walked about 3 miles to school, and rode my bike to visit friends. Since the third grade I was part of infamous "busing" era in the 70s, when kids were transported out of their neighborhoods and sent to schools far away in an effort to mix up the population, ease overcrowding and supply students for schools with few local attendees. This means that by high school I had friends all over town.
I rode my bike in heavy traffic on a daily basis to get where I needed to go, and rode on major roads, went over bridges and traveled up to 8 miles from home, or sometimes more. I was not only visiting friends, but shopping at the mall and going to the library. Remember, my young readers, at that time in order to research a school assignment you had to have a relatively current set of encyclopedias (Google it) or hoof it to the library. My local library, at times, was inadequate to the task, and I rode downtown to the university library, which had everything I needed. My parents both worked so my siblings and I did not have transportation other than taking a bus, walking or riding a bike. Few of my friends did, either.
So, when that magical age of 15.5 came along I, and everyone I knew, was chomping at the bit to get their driver's license. My mother rode the bus to work so we had a second car sitting at home, waiting to be utilized by eager teenagers. Imagine: Not having to deal with the weather conditions, flat tires, inconsiderate drivers (no helmets for bikes back then, remember!), not to mention the length of time in transit, was sublime.
Once we learned to drive and had a car, our lives changed, and we felt like grownups. In addition, one major benefit to having such freedom around the city as a child meant that we already knew street names, we knew how to get where we needed to go, and we had an excellent sense of direction. Getting around in a car was a piece of cake, and everyone appreciated this milestone. We had jobs to pay for gas and such, and could actually get to work and back without getting sweaty or rained on. Bonus!
As an adult with a new baby, something came over my husband and I, and we were not alone. With the improved communication brought to bear by technology like cable TV and the burgeoning cell phone and internet phenomena, we realized that baby/child snatchers were literally lurking around every corner! News stories abounded, reporting on kids minding their own business and playing in their neighborhoods going missing, found dead, never found, or found but having suffered horrible traumas. What is this world coming to?
There is no way my precious bundle will be booted out the door to "go play." That's irresponsible parenting! We had to have eagle eyes and be ever vigilant. "Stranger Danger" was a new term for us to teach our children, and public safety campaigns were strong. Information on how to spot a suspicious person, how to recognize a creep in your own network of friends, neighbors and family, and how to protect your children was encountered in many aspects of public life.
Children had to be chaperoned everywhere, and "play dates" were invented. There was no such thing as a play date in my childhood; if you wanted to play with another child, you walked to their house and knocked on the door, and asked them to play. Simple. Suddenly, you have to coordinate with other mothers, scheduling appointments and being careful about the other children and their families; did the dad smoke? did the mom have tattoos? Is this a safe place for my child to go and will there be negative influences? This is the stuff that kept us up at night.
Any bike riding done in the 90's and 2000's was done en masse - if your child wanted to ride their bike then your butt was on a bike with them. Helmets, reflectors, lights, whistles and sirens were now required for two wheel travel. If they wanted to walk to their friend's house, you had to first call the mother and make sure it was okay, then walk them over there yourself, check in with the mother, and arrange for a pickup time. Keep in mind that the other mothers were suspicious too, so they were scrutinizing ME and my husband, wondering if we were up to no good behind closed doors.
Suddenly, mothers were concerned about how their children behaved when visiting their friend. My parents didn't concern themselves with such things - kids act up and are who they are, and they considered everything to be fine unless they heard something from another mother, which was rare. The upshot is that, as mothers, we instructed our children on how to behave, apologized for their behavior to the other parent, and required assurances that they did behave themselves when it came time to collect them. Everyone was being evaluated. Stranger Danger.
If the benefit of my childhood running all over town by myself was learning the streets and getting a sense of direction, one major negative impact of our new lifestyle was that kids never pay attention to where they are or where they're going. Today, they've got handheld devices to amuse themselves while riding in the car. They don't know what street they're on, don't know how to get to the cul-de-sac two blocks over, don't know how to get to school or to church, or to places they've been going their entire lives. They don't know cardinal directions as they apply to their neighborhoods or hometowns. Someone drives them, and they simply wait until the ride is over and they're compelled to get out of the car. It is like teleporting! Beam me up, Mama! I've got to go to Jimmy's house.
My own Millenial, born in 1993, suffers quite a bit from this phenomenon. She does not have her driver's license, though she has a learner's permit, and I have read articles recently that this is not unusual: young people today are not learning to drive. I was astounded! How can this be? How could teenagers not want to drive? This is completely counterintuitive to me. It took me a while to realize the reason. Why should they drive? They've had someone chauffeuring them wherever they needed to go their entire lives. Someone in their circle of friends will drive and have their own car, so it is easy enough just to carpool. They don't feel comfortable tooling around town on their own - they've never looked through a windshield before. If it isn't in their lap they can't see it.
There is still something missing in this trend, if it is a trend, but I think the nidus is the lack of freedom our children and young adults have now. I am as guilty as anyone - I have shielded all my children in this way, and can't set my worries aside very easily. Since realizing what was going on with my oldest, I began quizzing my younger girls while driving, asking things like what street we're on, what road we just passed, in what direction are we headed, or what street to turn on to get to Grandma's house. I am urging them to familiarize themselves with their surroundings at all times, and pay attention. I don't know if it is helping, but it is at least something that might help them in the future. Since there's two of them, they go a lot of places together, so now they're permitted to walk to the library (together) and walk to the corner store (apart or together - it is very close). That is not to say I don't stand at the window and mark their progress, and watch the clock until they return, because I do. We know too much these days about all the wrongs in our society, since every incident is instantly available, anywhere in the world, via 24-hour cable news and internet.
Would you like to know something? There have always been creeps in our society. There have always been pedophiles, since humans created a society. We just didn't hear about it every second. We were living in the blissful ignorance of our pre-digital age. You want to know another thing? One day when walking home from second grade with Benjamin, a car pulled up alongside us, a convertible with the top down, and a man was fondling himself while he asked us directions to the nearby hospital. I did not understand at all what he was doing, and had never seen a man's private parts before, but it was supremely alarming to me, so I took Benjamin's hand and took off running. I was the older and responsible one, after all. I consider us lucky, even though the guy may have never intended to apprehend us in any way, but you never know.
Today, that incident would have gotten on the news, right after the story about Child Protective Services being called regarding the 5 and 7-year-old walking by themselves down the street. That is, apparently, child neglect.
I look back and have to wonder: How DID we survive?
