I am delighted to be a mother of three beautiful girls. O is 19 and a sophomore in college, attending a prestigious art school working towards a degree in theatre performance. *Clears throat* She's beautiful and talented and we hope with all our hearts that she will be gainfully employed someday.
The twins are 12 and changes are coming for W and R. I suddenly find myself threatening to "tan hides" and the like, words I have not uttered since their toddlerhood. What's happening? I honestly don't know, but they seem to have lost all sense of reason and logic. Their behavior has gotten egregious and bold, committing acts that they MUST know will bring down the Red Wrath upon their heads, yet they do them anyway.
They have not actually tipped over into full-blown puberty, but the physical changes have begun, right on schedule. They are blossoming into young women, and their tastes are changing all the time. They are still sweet, sweet little girls, and they don't seem to mind, in spite of the trappings of teenage girls that have been adopted by their peers. They don't dye their hair, wear makeup, wear revealing or flashy clothing, or be up on the latest teen pop sensation. They don't have cell phones (not their choice!) or iPads, and we don't have all the modern electronic must-haves at our house, but they don't seem to yearn to dress up like 18-year-olds, like I see their classmates do when I visit their school.
That said, they are pushing the limits at home in terms of doing what is expected of them and being responsible. I suddenly find myself having to lean on them for the simplest task, having to physically go up and drag them out of bed in the mornings, and catching them in lies and deceit. Who ARE these strange little sprites?
Even though it was not too terribly long ago when O moved out of girlhood and into young lady-hood, but it doesn't seem like she was like this. She reached puberty much earlier, though, as she suffers from a hormonal imbalance that has affected her physically, and the changes came about with that early puberty. Maybe because I was the mother of very young twins I didn't pay as close attention (perish the thought, but possible, right?) and missed out on the clues, but O was pretty easy to deal with her entire childhood. She never went through "terrible two's," never threw tantrums, was always reasonable and well-behaved for the most part. She had some personal issues in middle school but we tried to handle that with therapy and other measures, and that was more of a response to social issues at her school, rather than stemming from her own physiological makeup, or at least it seemed so.
These girls now just don't seem to be running on all cylinders, especially W, and I'm hoping this is just a bump in the road, rather than an indication of trouble to come. I do think the changes of puberty affect the personality, of course, and they're just testing boundaries as they venture into a less dependent phase of life.
I can tell, you, though, they're finding out the hard way, or maybe this is, in fact, the easy way, since I have a Zero Tolerance policy in place, and hopefully we'll get through this quickly now while the stakes are low, and be better prepared for when issues are more serious, like parties, boys, drugs, smoking and alcohol, and don't even get me started on driving!
I think this is the first time they've actually seen me "break red" on them, and I asked them if they liked this particular version of their beloved mother. Of course they didn't like it, and hopefully they'll think twice in the future and make better choices. Having successfully raised one teenager does not make anyone more qualified to raise more, since all children are different, so I need to be ready. Fortunately, He and I are a team and we work together well.
So, we will take our vitamins and keep cool heads as we watch our little girls develop before our eyes. Hopefully we won't be watching their brains walk completely out the door just yet, and we have a bit of time to prepare them and ourselves for what is to come.
Gonna be a bumpy ride!
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